I am the colossal failure of your influence
What you fed me I ate
and vomited forth
I feed on the acids left behind
I am the symbol of hope through adversity
And you fucking hate it.
I am the symbol of all your dirty secrets
The reminder of how much pain you inflicted
How much you failed and how much you destroyed
I am here to make sure you don’t forget
“We will never forget.”
Take your feeble body and drag yourself through
Your last days here
Without the fanfare and the parades
At the end of the day you are still alone,
completely unremarkable and mediocre.
Years I asked myself what to do
To make you love me
Was it my hair, my teeth, my eyes?
Was it my voice?
I remember trying to piece together what you wanted from me
I took all the pieces
I assembled them
I learned to mimic and make you laugh
My attempts were ineffective
It never changed who I was, and who you saw
I have been battling lately, and you better pay attention to this one
What will the outcome be?
Shall I transmute to a grand serpent
slithering into your bed to sink my venom into your throat
Or a Siren constantly singing in your ear
Songs of betrayal and agony
Perhaps a mighty wave am I
To pummel your little boat
into a million little bits
until it resembles what you did to my fucking heart
Maybe there will be no shapeshifting
I stand waiting for any attempt
So I can have a reason
To blast you with pain
You won’t see some snake or siren
Just me, with the same eyes
Don’t think for a moment you have been forgotten.
None of you have.
I have my weapons mounted for you
I think you know that finally.
To reach for me would be to amputate your hand.
I would advise against it,
but you never took me seriously.
Just have a tourniquet handy.